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My name is Mirella and I write to you to tell you about my son James.

James was only 22 years old when we lost him to suicide. James was a unique, intelligent and adventurous young man.

 Unfortunately, in 2010 he began to suffer from depression and other mental health ill-health – conditions that are significantly affecting young people in Australia today. Sadly, James passed away on 28 December 2012, by suicide.

James was good natured and happy growing up as a child. In his short life of only 22 years he achieved many things. James completed a Bachelor of Pharmacy at Monash University. Just before his passing in 2012 he was a volunteer with St John’s Ambulance. He even travelled to Nepal, volunteering at the Namaste Children’s House orphanage.

His adventures were numerous – bungee jumping off the cliff in Pokhara Nepal, going on safari or pole dancing in Thailand – James enjoyed life. He travelled around Europe, visiting much of Italy, Spain, Barcelona, Germany, France, Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Hong Kong and Nepal.

But James was always searching for his place in this world. Shining brilliantly for only a small measure of time only to disappear, leaving behind his presence with lasting memories – good and bad.

The night before James took his life, he placed a call for assistance with the Crisis Assessment and Treatment (CAT) team. The help he needed arrived three days later. Three days too late for James. I also later discovered James was admitted to hospital just before Christmas, only to be released. My family and I were weren’t told he was in hospital.

James passed away on 28 December 2012, not long after being discharged.

During Christmas, hospitals are understaffed and overworked. James’ death could have been prevented with better communication and greater family and health service support. 

The biggest let down, in my opinion, is that James was treated badly and misunderstood; with no back-up support from a mental health system that was meant to protect him. 

As a mother I am left with so many “what ifs”. What if I had been able to get James help earlier, once he showed signs of depression? What if we had been more involved in James’ treatment? What if the CAT team had searched for him earlier? What if more support was given?

I will forever be totally heartbroken. How could an intelligent, loving young man have such a tragic end? Someone who was so full of life and promise?

My heart breaks for James, who never had the opportunity to further his career. Who never saw the birth of his niece and nephews. Who never experienced fatherhood. Who will never again be able to share a drink with his brother, Adrian. Who will never again share a laugh or celebrate another birthday or Christmas.

For me, I miss James’ laughter, beautiful smile, wit, intelligence and, most importantly, his presence. 

The grief of losing a child is unbearable. Losing a child by suicide is a life of everlasting pain, sorrow, guilt and heartbreak. No-one could understand the pain unless having experienced the same trauma. I hope no other parent experiences this tragic loss, but the reality is more young people are experiencing mental ill-health and suicidal thoughts. 

Before his passing James wrote a proposal in order to help young people affected by mental ill-health. James welcomed art as a therapeutic outlet during treatment, and believed that it may help others. With the help of many friends we established a foundation to honour James’ vision.

This has helped many of James’ friends, and especially myself, to do something that helps other young people, raising much-needed funds for Orygen and mental health. So that even after James’ passing, his life still has meaning.

To any families who have lost a child to suicide and will be without a loved one this year - my heart goes out to you, your family and your beautiful children – not only have they lost their life, you have lost their life too.

Please give a gift to Orygen, so young people can get the right support at the right time. BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. Before lives are lost and more families are left with an empty seat at their Christmas table.

I wish that no one will be without their son or daughter this Christmas because of youth suicide.

Mirella

Since 1992, the team at Orygen has been working hard to raise critical funds to ensure young people are supported through their mental health journey. With continued support from our amazing community we can not only help to save lives, but transform them.